My Thoughts Regarding the LDS Church’s New Policy for Children of Same-Sex Couples

First and foremost- I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have been since I was baptized when I was eight years old. I believe the Church to be true and that it is led by a loving Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ through a living prophet today.

When the leaders of the Church have put out their standings on issues, I haven’t always agreed, but I know that when I ask why, I will receive answers. Yesterday, when I first read the click bait headlines about the Church’s new policy about denying baby blessing and baptism to Children of Same- Sex couples, I was deeply concerned. However, after reading through the articles, I have personally found why such a policy has been made and why Heavenly Father would have church leaders put such a policy in place.

Here is my understanding:

All of the ordinances that members receive within the Church are part of the formal adoption process into Heavenly Father’s family. Yes, we are all children of God, but at the age of eight we are allowed to choose for ourselves if we wish to be baptized and make a covenant with Heavenly Father to be a part of his family.

Those promises we make at baptism can be found in Mosiah 18:9- 10: “Yeah, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life-

Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?”

Being baptized is not just “Hey look! I’m a member of the church now!” It’s a promise that we will obey commandments and follow the example of Christ. Baptism, on the surface, does not seem like something to deny to a child of same-sex parents. However, we need to understand all of God’s commandments in order to fully understand why having same-sex parents is a concern.

The first commandment ever given to man is stated in Genesis, and also reiterated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World: “We declare that God’s commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife… Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and their children. ‘Children are and heritage of the Lord’. Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives- mothers and father- will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

That’s quite a load of responsibility for any parent to be accountable for. How hard would it be for a same-sex couple to teach their children to live all of the commandments, if they themselves are not observing the commandment of marriage between a man and a woman? That child would have a model of a happily married couple at home, but would also know that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. For a child, that would be confusing. How could both their parents and the teachings of the Church be right?

The Church’s policy on denying children baptism into the church is one that is made out of love for these individuals. Love for children who love their parents and the Lord. It is better for a child to grow up not being accountable for decisions that were influenced by teachings of their parents, than to be held responsible for their own choices they make that are a result of those teachings.

The denial of a baby blessing is a sad one. But when a baby is named and given a blessing, their name will appear on church records and then there will be the expectations that they will one day become a full member of the church when they choose to be baptized. So again, it is not the denial that baby can be blessed or not. It’s the denial of setting that child up for the heartache of issues that they may not fully understand later.

I do not hate homosexuals, nor do I think that they are evil or terrible people. They are lovable, kind, and just as human as the rest of us. They are wonderful parents who love their children.

Is it sad that they cannot receive all the blessings that are available through the ordinances of the Gospel? Yes!

But then again anyone who does not live up to the covenants and standards of the Gospel can’t receive those blessings either. God loves everyone but that doesn’t mean that there are exceptions to his laws and commandments.

Again, this is my understanding both of the Gospel, and this new ruling. Feel free to share your thoughts and understandings. All I ask is that you keep them respectful. 

A Study In People Watching

Its days like today where I feel like my heart is on my sleeve and the littlest things bother or intrigue me. My “ooOOOooo look shiny!” senses are heightened and the people around me are movie stars that I get to sit in watch in 3-D.

Today I overheard  a few girls talking today about one of their roommates ( technically it’s hard not to overhear them because they talk loud enough for the whole second floor of the building to hear, but I digress). Now I’ve listened to these girls before, their conversations fascinate me because of how differently they see the world than I do. One is a girl who I would have loathed in Jr. High and high school – she’s the girl who does everything right the first time and has never been in an awkward situations ever, at least that’s how she presents herself to her friends and her mother (who she has wonderful long conversations with at full volume on her end once a week). The other girls were sisters- one of course took the dominate role and the other was the rebellious “I do whatever the flip I want” sibling.

Usually their conversations are about typical college life- boys, classes, and roommates. But as they discussed roommate woes, they started nitpicking at one specifically. It was more than just impolite and annoying occurrences that are typical of living with strangers though. They were tearing her down, piece by piece.

Something in my heart twinged with anger as they discussed the problems of this roommates life- her hard time understanding material for a class, her frustration of studying hard and still bombing a test, her having a hard time making it to class when she feels like a failure, and talking about how all of those feelings were just her being lazy.  I was angry at them for not only dismissing their roommate’s feelings, but treating them as if they were but silly little things that everyone should just suck it up and deal with. I was angry because once upon a time- I was that roommate.  

Not that long ago I was a student who had a hard time motivating herself to get out of bed and face hard classes, long hours of studying, and dreading to see my score on tests because I knew I didn’t do well. I was too scared and shy at that point to reach out for help.  I didn’t believe anyone would want to help someone who on the outside looked lazy to everyone around her. So I failed. And it took me two years to find the motivation to come back. I still have a hard time getting out of bed and going to class, but I’ve found my support system and resources to help me.  My only regret is that I didn’t try to find that support sooner.

I admit, I wanted to stand up and tell those girls to shut up. I wanted to tell them how they were the worst roommates because they couldn’t have a shred of decency to see their roommate was in need of some help- not ridicule for handling her academic life differently than they do. But I kept my mouth shut because sadly, I don’t know this roommate.  I don’t really know if how she was being described by these girls (who I admit, I am rather biased against) is true or not.

What I do know is that I have learned that I really don’t like it when people dismiss another person’s worries, fears, anxieties or other stressors, simply because they know to handle those things. It makes me sad to see people believing that everyone should be able to learn, understand, and act the same way that they do.

Sometimes people watching is a heart wrenching exercise that rubs you wrong. But in the end, it’s good to know that these girls do not see the world the way I see it, because then that means that someday I’ll learn why they feel comfortable talking loud enough for everyone to hear no matter the topic. Perhaps I’ll learn why “little miss perfect” feels the need to show off how good she is to her friends and why I find her so irritating. 

Until then, it's just me and my view of the world.