Thoughts on Tough Stuff

I wanted to write my thoughts about bullying for a while now. Not too long ago I was having a conversation with a woman I babysit for. She confessed that if her children were ever bullied, she'd probably home school them.

I in turn confessed to her that when I was growing up I hated school, mostly because I was bullied there. It made me think about what I went through as a kid. 

I have a unique name that I was taught to be proud of. I wasn't a Sarah or a Katherine. I was the one and only Daria. But no matter how awesome you think your name is, kids are crafty and mean and will eventually turn something beautiful into something ugly. So I was teased. I was called horrible things. And I cried and I hated my name for a while. 

But I was bullied for years, no matter where I moved there was always a boy or two who would find a  way to make me cry. It didn't stop after elementary school. When I went to a Jr. high where I didn't know anyone, I was always the victim of one joke or another. 

The only way I broke free from the bullying atmosphere that had followed me everywhere I went, was that I learned to stick up for myself. When I got hate letters, I simply threw them away. When boys called me names or told me I was stupid, I laughed. I learned to simply stop caring about what they thought. What do two random guys I only see for maybe an hour a day, know about me? That's right, absolutely nothing! 

What I learned from my experience of being a victim of bullying, was that the only person who really was going to stop it was myself. Because kids are going to be kids when there isn't adult supervision close by. Parents, Teachers, and Counselors can only do so much, but in the end it really is going to be between the victim and the bully. I as a victim had to learn that the bully only had power, if I gave it to them. 

I think what's wrong with our society today, is that we take everything at face value. Doesn't matter where, when a victim begins to believe the words they hear, that is when they are letting the bullies win. We see it everywhere, on facebook, twitter, forums, chatrooms, playgrounds and neighborhood parks. When another person tells us something negative, we are inclined to believe that they are right. We give way too much power to other peoples opinions. Today, I see so many people who are basing their worth on the random comment a complete stranger said years ago. 

I suggest to all, that you need to learn to fight for YOU. I'm not saying that if you're being bullied you need to learn how to throw a punch or take revenge. That just makes you a bully too. But learn to have your opinion of yourself. Not what the world expects you to think. 

As a wise person once said "What Sue says about Sally, describes more about who Sue is, than Sally."

So there you have it, some food for thought. I'm interested on what you think.