She doesn't see herself as the perfect mom, because the house is rarely ever spotless, there's always a load of laundry to be done, and dishes will forever be piling up. But she was the one who taught me how to scrub the floor, do my own laundry, and how to wash dishes by hand.
My mom never has baked cookies for you right when you open the door. Her hair is never a neat and beautiful sculpture to be admired. She also was never one to have everything organized so anyone could find anything. But my mom always has a fun story to tell whenever I visit. She is always working on a beautiful art project that shows just how wonderful her mind and her soul is. She also will know exactly that strange feeling you get, whatever it is, and understand what you're talking about, even if you're still trying to figure it out.
You see, my mom is the best mom for me and my siblings. Because we need a mom who makes up stories about the fairies that live all around the house and get very upset when we leave big messes. I need a mom who isn't afraid to answer any awkward question I have about life and it's mysteries, so I can learn to be open. I need a mom who will call me when I'm all alone and sick to my stomach, so she can read one of my favorite books to make me feel better.
I am eternally grateful for the sacrifices my mother made for me, my siblings, and our family. She was sick throughout every single pregnancy. She had to put of with our fights, chickenpox, the stubborn child like myself who literally had to be dragged to school. She would let me snuggle with her when I had nightmares. She would tell me how to improve my artwork even though all I wanted to hear was "good job". My mom taught me the beauty of nature, of the natural body, and how to appreciate how other people see the world. My mom taught me that it's perfectly acceptable to sing at the top of your lungs while washing dishes, or other awful chores.
My mom is the kind of mom who never has the same favorite song, because she finds a new one that makes her soul happy and will listen to it on end. She's the kind of mom who can watch her favorite movie over and over again while she draws because it lets her hands do the art, while her brain is busy enjoying the dialogue. My mom is the kind of mom who get's excited when a new idea for her stories make everything come together! My mom is the kind of mom who likes to play World of Warcraft so she can do pet battles and get all the cute (or scary) creatures so she can give them creative names. My mom is the kind of mom that squeals with delight when I give her Star Wars Squinkies for Christmas (and the next year, proceeds to make them into ornaments).
Because my mom is the mom that finds the fun first, and does the boring everyday chores second. "A Spoonful of Sugar" and "When We're Helping We're Happy" and "Have I Done Any Good in the World Today" were songs that I remember most while we had to do the boring things.
My mom is also the kind of mom who, for as long as I've known her, has never liked her birthday, or other holidays for that matter. That's okay. I understand that her childhood wasn't fun, and things that happen when your young can leave lasting scars. That is why this tribute to her has come today, rather than yesterday.
You see, I'm glad my mother came to this earth. I'm glad that even though it was painful, she has gotten to experience life, with all it's laughter and sorrow, that she brought me and my siblings into this world.
My mother doesn't have things easy. She fights with bipolar 2 and her meds are never quite right. She can't handle crowds. There was a long moment where she believed that no one would miss her, and walked out to Antelope island on her own with the intention to leave this world behind.
But don't think for a moment that my mother is anything else but strong. Because she's still here. She still puts up a fight. She still get's mad that her brain doesn't want to work right, instead of giving into the darkness that tries to consume her. She still tries to give what she can, like a phone call to give me support when my day sucks. My mother is a fighter, a dreamer, a singer who's off key cause it's funny, and best of all, MY mother.
I love you mom.
My mother doesn't have things easy. She fights with bipolar 2 and her meds are never quite right. She can't handle crowds. There was a long moment where she believed that no one would miss her, and walked out to Antelope island on her own with the intention to leave this world behind.
But don't think for a moment that my mother is anything else but strong. Because she's still here. She still puts up a fight. She still get's mad that her brain doesn't want to work right, instead of giving into the darkness that tries to consume her. She still tries to give what she can, like a phone call to give me support when my day sucks. My mother is a fighter, a dreamer, a singer who's off key cause it's funny, and best of all, MY mother.
I love you mom.
I love you, too.
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