My Thoughts on Abortion

I am but one voice among the many. Since it's not my state that passed the abortion law, my opinion shouldn't hold that much weight.

But I have this feeling, that somebody out there is wondering where I sit with all this. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's family, or former coworkers. I don't know who needs to hear me of all people but I'll state my case anyway.

I grew up like many other Christian people did, believing abortion was evil. I even said something along those lines to a girl when I was 12. She had told me that her mother had one, long before she was born. I don't remember her exact response, but I do remember the hurt in her eyes and the lesson I learned. Which was that her mother was human, and it wasn't my place to judge this girl's mother, let alone call her evil.

When I got home that day, I told my mother about the experience. And you know what she told me?

 Abortion is between you and God.

Sometimes things happen to a woman that are scary, and terrible, like rape. God wouldn't force her to live through that experience. It's not our place to judge her for her decision. Because in the end, it's between her and her creator.

I have thought long and hard about that conversation over the years.

Now, I have gone into detail about the unpleasant experiences I had growing up in a different post. If you want a clearer picture you can read my Unpacking Baggage post. Here, I will simply say that I often wondered why my parents had so many kids. Why my dad kept me, if he hated me and my siblings so much. I don't wish my childhood on anyone. I often wondered why I was even born if he obviously didn't want me.

I am well aware that there are so many kids out there living in abusive homes, being neglected, bouncing from foster home to foster home, and living in orphanages, or subject to slave trafficking. The adults of this world are not kind to children. Sometimes children are treated as trophies- beautiful in public but never treated with love or affection at home. And worse, the women subject to terrible circumstances, and then being handed the responsibility of taking care of themselves while pregnant. My heart mourns along with these mothers and children in their current state.

My opinion? I believe in God. I practice my religion. I believe that abortion should only be practiced in cases of threat to a mother's health, or in cases of rape and incest. And I believe that *I* should follow that belief.

Others? They didn't have my upbringing. Those young teen moms, the mothers with cancer, the women dealing with addiction and mental illness. And the women who wan't an abortion because they can't take care of a child, or another one. Women who suffer from the fear of being pregnant. Pregnancy is awful. I know. I've been through it twice and for me it is literal Hell. I wouldn't wish that Hell on anyone that wasn't fully willilng to undergo it, keeping the baby or no.

That is why, I personally, fully support a woman's choice and access to abortion. I'm not being forced to get an abortion and neither is anyone else. I believe that
women need to have a safe place to go, without resorting to deadlier methods to get rid of a child they clearly do not want.

Because I am a firm believer that children shouldn't grow up believing that they are the reason for their parent's suffering. They shouldn't grow up questioning why they even exist. They shouldn't be praying to a God they have a hard time believing in why they were born. Or worse, praying to God to let them die, because they weren't wanted in the first place.

I dont feel like adoption is a part of this argument. Because for me, adoption isn't just putting a child into a system of care. It's adults picking and choosing a child. Children don't get to pick their parents, whether they are adopted or not.

I do have further feelings on the subject of adoption, but they are not needed for this post.

I don't need to argue about the NY law, because it's not my state. My opinion is nothing to those lawmakers or citizens.

I don't need to argue with you, my reader, either. Because like my mother so eloquently said, "it's between you and God." You don't have to agree with me. I understand your point of view, whether you call every abortion murder or not.

I just want the women who have contemplated, or undergone an abortion, to know that I love them. Your reasons are your own. Your fears, dreams, hopes, and struggles are your own. I will stand with you while others spread their hate and scorn. Because I too have been there.

I sat there staring at a positive pregnancy test two weeks after getting out of the hospital for suicidal ideation, wondering if my meds and therapy were going to be enough to keep me and my little family safe from myself. I did survive pregnancy a second time, but I had an amazing support system.

You might not have a support system. I understand why you wouldn't, couldn't, keep a baby.

Again. "It's between you and God." I am here to simply love you.